(F)Art Critique

December 22, 2007

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L’Shitsuccus(1929)

Mender Aldroitus(1904-1989) well known for his accomplishments in advancing modern Dumbassism has been a key figure of study and approbation of the art world for many years now. For what many consider his most pivotal works L’Shitsuccus(1929) and Wad der Fuack(1931) could be the most highly explored and examined pieces of our post modern era. His breadth of experience spans vast distances of space, just as his visual representations of space, time, universe, chi, kid, and pudding enraptures the imagination of all. Within the purview of his knowledge and comprehension of the visual medium he was enabled to gesticulate a visceral aesthetic that combined head and heart into a conglomerate, Hearted. Making him a man only deserving homage, respect and apotheosis.

Wait til Your Father Gets Home

November 4, 2007

Daddy¬†DearestJam.Teddy’s Jam for me.Now that that’s that we shall trudge on, skull drudgery style(Thick enough to stand up a spoon).Let’s now go under the knife and build a better self,taut plastic grin, spurious laughter, Feng Shui.OK.Seriously now let’s spin that propeller again, get that engine a-hum,steady that rudder fly-boy.We are in full motion now and with that includes all the lovely treats my title eluded to;Dads.They are great aren’t they?I mean all of those serial killers,yeah you Chuckie Manson, who were belittled as wee tots and then were subsequently inspired to one-up Diddy with tomes of murder-wurders they have committed in the cold onyx night to be a more manlier man than good ol’ Dad.Also(personal fave) behind every great Father is an even greater slut-daughter.Daddy issues=Beef Curtains,time to draw some shade.Fart Brut.Or,Pit-a-Pat,indeed.

What isn’t a Trick?(When Art meets Artifice head on)

October 5, 2007

DumbyouthThey try to get you to smoke,with tricks.They try to get you NOT to smoke,with tricks.They try to get you to eat Trix,with tricks, and a rabbit trick at that.Officer there is only poop under my hat,and it’s not even mine!Persuade they will,Yoda, I talk like, soda they encroach upon your ‘thirst’ with Dogmatic maxims.I guess they figure if gazillions of folks over the scant 2000 years our flat world has been, spinning??? we can believe in our Superfriends; the gods, we’ll of course oblige to obeying our tangible thirsts like a Motherfaker.So whether it’s the Message or the Counter-Message it’s all a dichotomous rut, a ruse to empty one pocket into another.But rest tonight young Scully for the Truth is still out there(resting it’s corpulent laurels in a pit of re-fried Truthiness).Ahhhhh the LIfe.

Article inspired by this below.(About those Truth/Non smoking ads)

“Teens today are generally suspicious of adults,” said Jenny Lee, a 17-year-old senior at Leon High School in Tallahassee who was a member of the student committee that chose Crispin to handle the state’s anti-smoking ad campaign. “If there was some middle-aged guy telling us not to smoke, I would probably flip the channel.” Lee added it was important the ads portray all kinds of students, even those most adults and parents would have a hard time identifying with. “We’ve got a guy with [dreadlocks] in these commercials,” Lee said. “These aren’t your clean-cut, Polo-wearing kids.”

Trust Bob Marley, when he sez only you can prevent forest fires!

Read This.Get Autism.

September 28, 2007

DowntownOpinions equate assholes, and smell equally odious. In this new era of seen and be seen sensibilities, Every Fucking Moron is now Famous. I made a big boom-boom Mommy, lookie me!!! Being our own editor, we write poorly and proud, spouting conjecture like factoids. Knowing that our hubris will keep us warm in the coldest moments of stupidity, and if that fails, yell louder ( Not only does yelling make you funnier, it makes Mommy come running with an ample supply of attention). Off-putting enough yet? Well this is the diving board into the a big wet pool of cliches, critique, crappy alliterations, non sequitur seqways, flocks of seagulling, pun-punishment, and all the pussy you can fit on a plateau. And don’t forget planned surprises! Hang on to dem hats and glasses cuz this is the wildest Blog on the Internet!